[Elsword is silent for most of this. He's silent as he's made to sit down again, he's silent when he takes the hot chocolate, and silent still when the blanket is draped over him. He stares down into the mug, and it takes a couple minutes for him to speak.]
I knew for a while I was going to lose my eye. There was this weird... squirmy feeling behind my eye, but nothing ever happened with it until the other day. I felt it... [one can imagine anyone else would make a face here, but Elsword isn't able to really do that.] ...moving again, and then heard a sound and felt pain. I managed to get to the river before the plants burst through my head.
Other than that... I've been having nightmares, I guess. And I've been hallucinating, but until the other day it was only hearing stuff, not seeing stuff. I was talking to Mr. Wolfwood and was trying to tell him not to walk into the fog wall, but the fog wall wasn't there at all.
The worst part of it all, [he starts, quietly,] is I don't even think I'm dying. 'Cause death would be the easy way out for all of this, wouldn't it? I'd die and this would stop. But like with the El and the Illuminous Phenomenon, something always has to stop it from happening. I don't get to live by my own rules. I'm always living because of someone else's.
heimr voice: i remember your old dad and he would NEVER. (cw suicidal ideation)
I knew for a while I was going to lose my eye. There was this weird... squirmy feeling behind my eye, but nothing ever happened with it until the other day. I felt it... [one can imagine anyone else would make a face here, but Elsword isn't able to really do that.] ...moving again, and then heard a sound and felt pain. I managed to get to the river before the plants burst through my head.
Other than that... I've been having nightmares, I guess. And I've been hallucinating, but until the other day it was only hearing stuff, not seeing stuff. I was talking to Mr. Wolfwood and was trying to tell him not to walk into the fog wall, but the fog wall wasn't there at all.
The worst part of it all, [he starts, quietly,] is I don't even think I'm dying. 'Cause death would be the easy way out for all of this, wouldn't it? I'd die and this would stop. But like with the El and the Illuminous Phenomenon, something always has to stop it from happening. I don't get to live by my own rules. I'm always living because of someone else's.