No, but— it is. He said he wasn't interested in romance. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to kiss him, knowing that. ...and maybe he consented to it because I'm just a lab rat to him, but it still feels bad, knowing that and also knowing that I could've... [he gestures, vaguely, to his head.] That I could've thought with my brain and not with my [dick] heart and not ever had to land here in the first place.

I appreciate that you say it's not my fault, but the fact is, I messed up first. I'm mad at him for what he said, yeah, but I would have just moved on if I hadn't pushed.